Advocating for myself as a fat person
As the weather starts to cool off, I am getting excited about all things fall.
So naturally, I have been spending my free time shopping online for comfy oversized sweaters. I only own one sweater right now and it is falling apart. Even though I love it and still wear it everyday, it is time to upgrade.
Finding clothes as a fat person is hard and it is even harder to find clothes that fit my own personal style.
I was so happy when I found the sweaters from an online clothing company called Tradlands through a few fat influencers. They sold oversized, chunky sweaters up to size 5X which would be perfect for me.
Unfortunately, the sweaters were expensive so I resigned to wait for a sale or until I had the money to invest in one. As fall approached this year, I was checking every week or so to look for a sale and just day dream a little.
Imagine my surprise last week when I did my weekly check of their website and every sweater that they sell didn't have the 5X option available for purchase anymore.
I was so heartbroken. My big, comfy, fall sweater dreams were gone in an instant. I emailed the company to see when they would have a 5X option back in stock.
A few days later, they responded that they had no plans to bring back their 5X option in the future. The person who emailed me said that their 5X sizing option was "just not performing well" and they had taken it down so that they could "pour more thought and resources towards the design" of their 5X options. Honestly, the entire email just used a lot of words to say nothing of substance and my heart was broken.
I had trusted that this company had given two fucks about at least small to mid fat people (don't get me started on clothing companies treatment of infinifat people), but I was wrong. It was obvious from their response that all I was to them was an opportunity to call themselves an "inclusive" brand.
Their intention was to provide a 5X option to serve their brand, NOT to serve the fat community. And when it stopped serving them, they had no qualms about just cutting us out.
I responded to point out that completely cutting out the 5X option was not sending the message that they cared about their 5X community like this person claimed in their email. Also, if they knew that they are falling short of being size inclusive, why does it say "inclusive sizing XXS-4X" on the listing for the sweaters? For me, it is so disheartening when a company claims to be "inclusive" but I don't fit into their own definition of what is inclusive.
After a few days, I received an email from the same customer service person saying they would escalate my "concerns over the copy in the product details to [their] marketing team" and that they "sincerely appreciate [my] feedback regarding [their] business decision to take a pause on offering Size 5X." Again, using a lot of words to say nothing of significance.
I felt so invisible and unimportant. It felt like this person didn't care about how they were making me, as a fat person, feel. All they cared about was saving face.
I tried to respond kindly in an attempt to make myself seem more human to them. I talked about how much I love their sweaters and that it is so hard to find high quality clothing in my size. I explained how excited I had been to purchase one of their sweaters before they discontinued them in my size.
It has been over two weeks now and I haven't received a response. This person and, by extension, this company really doesn't give a shit about me. I was always just a way to make themselves feel like they were making a difference in the world with their "inclusive" brand. And that is the thing about buying clothes as a fat person, I never really know if a company cares about me or is just carrying my size because they want to be able to claim "inclusive sizing" for their marketing.
Am I happy I said something? I don't know. I always want to give people a chance to right what is wrong, but it felt so hurtful when their response only sent the message that they never really gave a shit about me in the first place.
Let's be friends! How do you go about advocating for yourself in your day to day life? How do you handle it if it doesn’t go as plan?
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