This week is our anniversary... nine years. I am not someone who believes that years together is what makes a good relationship. But my partner, Patrick, is one of the good ones. We met nine years ago at the beginning of summer when we both found ourselves working at a science summer camp in Berkeley, CA.
Read MoreSummer has officially arrived here in the mountains. I know many places in the country have already had summer for a month or two and all I can say is I'm sorry. Summer is my least favorite season. A huge part of my discomfort in summer is that my neurodivergent brain can't handle when my body gets hot. As the temperature goes up, my brain panics…
Read MoreMy life gets glamorized by the internet. Everyone's does. It's not our fault, it is just so much more fun to post beautiful photos of myself and the places I see than it is to post about the hard times. I try to combat that in my writing but I know it still seems more glamorous than it is. So I want to be clear- I am homeless. If I could find housing that I could afford…
Read MoreIt has been three months since I sat down to write anything. I don't know what I am going to write about today, but I figured if I don't just start I am never going to keep writing. And I want to write. Maybe one day I could be a writer as a capitalism survival tactic. That is my dream. My reality is very different…
Read MoreAfter growing up as a fat kid, I developed an eating disorder in high school, specifically an obsession with eating "healthy". This eating disorder, which is called orthorexia, caused me to lose a decent amount of weight over a few years while I was in high school. I eventually stopped losing weight but continued my disordered eating habits into college in an effort to maintain my now lower weight…
Read MoreI hate going out in public as a fat person. A few weeks ago, I was in line at the grocery store check out and in a strangely good mood. When it was my turn to check out, I complimented the cashier's earrings. They weren't anything special to me, but I was just happy and thought I would share a little of my joy with this person if I could…
Read MoreExhaustion. That is all I feel these days. I wish I could spend all my waking hours curled up under a blanket with some mindless form of media playing in the background. I desperately want to silence my brain telling me I should have more energy. The days drag out and seem to last years…
Read MoreI don't believe in insecurities. I didn't choose these feelings of never being enough and it isn't a personal failure to struggle with confidence. For so long the world has sent me messages about what is wrong with me. But different people get different messages, depending on how the world perceives you…
Read MoreMy mental health is bad again. We moved down to the California desert from Mammoth and started applying to jobs in the Palm Springs area. And no one returned our emails or called us when we dropped off resumes in person. It has been so difficult and triggering. Earlier this year, we spent six months applying to jobs only to hear nothing back…
Read MoreIt's a sad day for us- we left Mammoth. We arrived in Mammoth Lakes, CA in May and have been living and working in Mammoth since then. We moved south to Bishop, which is only a 45 min drive to Mammoth, but usually about 20 degrees warmer. It wasn't until I got to Bishop that I realized how good Mammoth has been to us over the last six months…
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